• gentlewomanofthero

My Relationship With Sex

Updated: Feb 2

I recently finished watching Sex Education and found myself actually sobbing during every episode. Whether from feeling triggered or from absolute joy, I have not seen a television show talk about tragedy and pain in such a loving way. It is so rare that sex can be talked about openly in a place that feels safe. A place that is away from judgement or from being over sexualized. This show is educating and kind and to a certain extent, easily accessable. I was sexually abused at a very young age, but was lucky enough to have a mother who focused all of her love and energy into teaching me that sex could be loving and fun when it was consensual. She kept an open conversation on sex and let me ask any questions or voice any concerns I may have. She never let me think for one second that what happened to me was my fault or tarnished me in any way. From this I was able to grow up with a healthy relationship with sex. I had to learn how to not use it to manipulate and when I knew I wanted to say no to it, and then actually how to say no to it. Most importantly I learned to forgive myself for how much I love it. How I am loving and passionate and this is a part of myself that is simply an expression of that. I can't believe how lucky I am to be given a mother to teach me this, but I feel to my core it is the message I want to continue to communicate. I hope this opens up a dialogue here or within your own lives to help create a more positive and loving narrative with sex. One that despite the cruelty that we have faced, we get to still hold the power and have the ability to make ourselves feel safe again and enjoy sex.

I would like to end this on stressing how I understand how impossible this can feel. I'm not saying this is easy. That is not the point of this. It is just a tiny bit of reassurance that you are much braver than you think and you are capable of surviving so much and I'm proud of you. Whatever your relationship is with sex it is valid.

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