• gentlewomanofthero

New York On Film : Day Two

The second day started with me immediately on the brink of tears just because I couldn't believe I was waking up in New York. This trip was a constant exercise in staying in the moment - I wanted to feel everything to the fullest. I needed to be able to remember how it felt the first time I woke up to that beautiful skyline, how alive I felt when walking down the streets, how deeply I fell in love with everything and everyone around me. I came into this city thinking the only thing you could fall in love with was the city itself. That love was dead in a physical form. How could so many people be in one space and how do you actually find love there????? But we watched so many people make out on street corners and go on first dates and be completely vulernable and I couldn't help thinking "how the hell does anyone fall in love in any other city?". When I came back home I was absolutely terrified - I have always come home to someone, but this time I was coming home to my empty apartment. There were a few days where I felt the weight of this, but it was honestly more encouraging in the thought that I gave myself so fully and honestly in New York. I have been asking for independence for so long, and finally I have received it. Sometimes it fucking hurts - the loneliness hits me like a freight train since being with someone is all I've ever known, but most days it's the most refreshing and empowering feeling I've ever felt. I am currently working on being good at being alone, while still remaining open to love and taking/being taken care of by other people. It's a whole process, but we are trying our damn hardest. Thank you, New York for letting me explore all these feelings. I love you unconditionally.

Here is a photo journal of our second day in my favorite place.

All photos by the amazing and lovely and constant creative and loving inspiration, Rachel Tess Eddy

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